clientsfromhell:

Client: It says my username and password don’t match.

Me: Ok. Is the caps lock on?

Client: No.

Me: Are you sure? Because the password has to be in all lower case letters in order for it to work.

Client: I’m not stupid. The caps lock is not on. Just tell me how to fix my computer.

Me: Ok. Look right above the number pad on your keyboard. Are any of those lights lit?

Client: Yes, all of them, but that has nothing to do with the problem.